Total Recall Review for the NES

Chaotic On February 15, 2011 15.02.2011 with 0 Comments


Anyone who is an Arnold Schwarzenegger fan knows this movie, it’s an awesome thrill ride filled with action, comedy and even a little romance I guess but the NES game is just filled with disappointment.

Total Recall the game was developed by Interplay and Acclaim back in 1990. There were also other version done for the C64, Amiga and the Atari ST which was a home computer these versions were made by Ocean Software though.

When I first saw the game I thought to myself “Oh boy! A Total Recall game? This has to be great!” but much to my surprise I was let down by the title I mean just look at the back of the Box that the game came in.

The pictures of the game look good I guess but I couldn’t tell you if they are real or not because I can’t even make it past the third stage in the game, it’s freakin’ hard. Let’s get into why this game is just so terrible.

GAMEPLAY- Let’s start off with controls, as in most games A jumps and B punches/shoots. Shoots….yeah you read right you can shoot in the game just like the movie YAY! Well no, not yay. Using a gun in this game is just about as fun as brushing your teeth with sandpaper. The first gun you get in the game looks like an Uzi so you automatically think it’s going to be a rapid fire gun but no you can only shoot one bullet at a time, so is it like the normal gun you start off with like in Contra, you might ask. No it isn’t, no matter how fast you mash the button you are still limited to the slow fire rate. Oh and punching? Well if you like a crappy fighting system then yeah the punching is just right for you. Everything just feels wrong about this game.

GRAPHICS- This game looks so uninspired that it hurts my brain. Everything looks so bland it’s just so monotone. Even the Title Card is boring, Arnolds 8-bit portrait looks just ok but as soon as you hit the start button you will be greeted by some of the worst graphics in NES history. The first stage introduces us to the most monotone color choice of the game, will it get better as you move on? Nope, sadly it doesn’t and look at Arnold, dressed in all green which is just unappealing to the eye. You know what’s great? Punching Midgets. As you take 5 steps into the game you get pulled into an alleyway and have to fight Midgets. Why Midgets? Because they are half the size of Arnold which just looks freaky. I can’t say much to my favorite part of the graphics but here is a still image of it. You can make your own deductions of what THIS looks like.

WHAT IN THE HELL?

SOUND- After 5 minutes you will hit the mute button. That is all…

REPLAYABILITY- If you enjoy getting your butt handed to you over and over again then this game is for you. I’ve managed to only get to the third stage and I’ve played this game to the point where I just wanted to punt my NES out of the window. You don’t have any continues, though you do have 3 lives which means absolutely nothing because while enemies have no problem in taking you out it’s hard as hell to punch them to death. They keep jumping over you and get so close that your punches do nothing to them. You have to back off a bit each time to actually hit them.

As a final note all I can say to this game is pass. Only buy it if you are a serious collector but if you are looking for a great movie to game adaptation then you should pick up Gremlins 2. Least that one was entertaining and had some great music but we’ll talk more about that one next time.

Anyway, this game is a solid Pass!

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